18 October 2011

After all that... yes, I do plan on eating it.

"My nephew gave me the heart, but I can't find it, I would just love it if it came falling out of there!"

Those are just a few of the words I never ever thought I would hear. At a location I really never pictured myself at...

The back entrance of a butcher shop on the Monday morning after opening weekend of hunting. Oh my word, it was an experience. Cars, rather large pickups, and one random mini van all lined up to drop off their kill. Kelly was one of the eager vehicles in line to drop off his game, he asked if Georgiana and I would join him so that I could help pick out the cuts. After some great internal debate, I decided to go. Kelly suggested I drive Georgie and I in my car and follow him so that we wouldn't be subject to any potential smell. Lovely.

Georgie girl and I waited in my car while Kelly dropped off the carcass and then the three of us went into the front of the store and sampled the pepperoni that was offered to us. It was quite tasty, and I was feeling quite proud of how well I had handled the bloody exhibits visible behind the counter (I'm not much of a raw meat person). Anyway, just as I was feeling comfortable, the mini van man popped his head in the store and said "hey buddy, they need you in the back." Georgiana and I stepped out to get fresh air and opted not to follow Kelly and the trail of blood to the back entrance. We just looked the other way, when the same chatty man driving the mini van(I'm very very much NOT opposed to mini vans, it was just comical seeing a deer come out of one, it may have been a had to be there moment) asked if Georgie would like to come and see his 'very friendly' dog. Umm... Okay. I didn't want to be rude, so I walked to the back of his van, that was open and currently being emptied by the butchers, and that's when he made the deer heart comment to the men. I know nothing about hunting, but I do know that he was the only man there who had cut his deer into random chunks and stuffed it and his nephews' deer's heart into coolers. The dog was hopping around and it was all very disgusting. Right as I was starting to feel really queasy and begin my exit strategy, Kelly stuck his head out of the back door and said he needed me back there.

I don't quite remember what I said, but I said enough that he replied (twice), "Yes, I'm serious. You can do it..."

Anyway, I tried to play it cool, as I didn't want to insult anyone, and I was very aware that I (and I think Georgie too) was the only person who felt totally uncomfortable. I self talked (unfortunately literally out loud) as I made my way around the very bloody men and hanging animal remains, "I'm not trying to over-react, oh dear (not meaning to be punny 'deer'), oh my word oh my word oh my word. Georgie we can do this..."

My breathing was probably quite bizarre looking, as I was afraid to inhale through my nose, and I was trying so hard to act comfortable and yet make sure the only thing coming into contact with anything was the bottom of my shoes. Thankfully, Georgie must have picked up on my mood because she was as still as she could be in my arms. Not reaching out to touch anything, thank you Jesus. Seriously.

The man taking the order was so helpful and the experience was quick and painless as long as I kept my eyes on him and the paper.

Then... there was our grand exit.

The next man in line, with the F350 Diesel Truck, had apparently shot a deer large enough to go with his ginormous vehicle. Because, rather than just have the two employees carry the meat inside to be weighed, they had to bring the scale hook thing to the truck and hoist the deer out of the bed of the truck. This in turn made a triangle for us to walk under to get out of the shop. Yes, I had to walk underneath the animal... I'm pretty sure I ran and self talked/yelled/tried so hard to be calm, as Kelly literally held his hands above my and Georgie's heads to make sure blood did not drip on us! I made it past all of the men oogling over the game, including the biker leather vest wearing, mini van driving, dog loving, deer cooler, friendly guy, and found myself resting on the running board of my suv with my head between my knees. Thankfully, hidden away from all of the men sharing their victory stories.

So, I guess that answers Kelly's question if I would ever like to go hunting with him?


Georgiana and I enjoyed our weekend, a fun visit from Lindsey, Georgie eating her weight in Mac & Cheese, visiting Maris Farm and Taye's 6th Birthday Party! I have many cute pictures from it that I would love to share, but they are still on my camera. Which is in the garage, near the unprocessed head of the above mentioned animal. And, after writing this post, I'm a bit exhausted by the talk and thought of it. So, the pics will have to wait. I don't need to see the head again tonight and have another weird dream.

This morning as we were eating breakfast, I looked at Kelly and with 100% seriousness, asked him if he really told me that he wanted a floor length rubber apron for Christmas?

To which, he thankfully replied no.


Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard reading this and was grossed out too! I find myseld self talking out loud sometimes, I guess it runs in the fam. Love you guys, Aunt Michelle

Our growing family said...

oh.my.word! I was seriously laughing out loud from this!!! you totally made my day! I could just picture you and your odd breathing! =) And what's with the "another" weird dream!!! Did you already have a deer dream?
Oh, I have to show this to Tim later!
Thanks for the laughs!!
ps...I don't think I would handle this all very well either!

e said...