26 June 2013

keeping it real.

The evening we returned from Coeur D'Alene, Georgiana said her stomach hurt. I passed it off as nothing. Then, Kelly's stomach hurt. Still, I lived in oblivion. Then after bath time poor Georgie girl vomited, a lot. Immediately following, she started singing and dancing, let me brush her teeth and has had no symptoms since. Kelly got sick that evening too and stayed ill the whole night. I woke up feeling awful. My awfulness increased with the day and today I felt like I was partially ran over. Levi seems to be okay.
Last week we had colds, nasty ones. This week we have the mystery virus. I struggle more mentally than physically when I am sick. It drives me insane to not be on my 'A' game for my family. The house is a disaster, which makes it hard to relax. Georgiana feels cooped up, and I don't blame her. Kelly has a super busy and chaotic work week (in order to play hard you have to work hard, right? easier said than done).
I'm looking forward to the weekend. Hopefully not feeling like a zombie, celebrating some dear birthdays, ladies church bonfire, family photo shoot on Whidbey Island, and having some of my family return from Thailand!! Georgiana is counting down the days, I told her a day or so later just in case they need recovery time :) Georgiana struggles a lot with understanding change, I think everyone probably does, but it is especially difficult for her because well, she's only 3. She has no real concept of time and no real concept of distance. Almost daily I am bombarded with questions about Papa. "If God needs a snack, who is looking after Papa?" "What day is it, is it our turn to go visit Papa?" Or, she will just yell for him, if nothing else she thinks, he'll hear me!! I was reading old blog posts and I read that Georgiana's first words were Momma, Dada and Papa. She was 8 ish months old. Yes, she started talking super young. I never understood why people said "she's just not like a baby..." I was annoyed and thought it almost rude. Now, I have a true baby baby and I totally get it. Levi is my little snugly baby, reading posts about Georgiana, I just have to laugh at the things she was doing and how she was communicating when she was even younger than Levi. So, it's no wonder that she processed SOOO much and developed such an amazing relationship with Papa. Poor girl's little world got turned upside down last May, she's very concerned about people leaving and gets extremely anxious, her anxiety makes me a wreck.
It's so much easier to protect her from a bruise than it is to protect her heart. We said "see you soon ish" to our neighbors and dear friends today. They are moving back to California. We are excited for them to get to live near their family and soak up the sunshine, but Georgiana Lee was filled with questions today.
Thankfully, next week the family returns from Thailand (if anyone in Thailand is reading this, she is not  anxious about you returning, she's handling it SUPER well!). Also, my sister and her family are visiting next week, what a wonderful distraction from those leaving.
I'm just writing this to vent. I am embarrassed at how worked up I get over Georgiana's emotions, I know it is my job to be steady and calm. Truth be told, I share many of her questions (not the God having a snack ones, but others), and I know that this side of heaven neither of us are going to have answers. Words really don't help a broken heart.
That being said, I know God's Word can, I need to pump her and I full of His truth.
Okay, my rant is done.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer.

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