03 November 2016

30 minutes

Life is funny. I currently have approximately 30 minutes before I need to leave to go pickup Mr. Levi from preschool. My crockpot is stuffed with a nice Fall roast and veggies and I find myself wandering around my messy house, unable to really get much done. I remember trying to make dinner with a baby in a bjorn, day dreaming a bit about how easy it must be for stay at home moms with kids in school. Now, I'm here. I pictured this moment, I thought I would delight in the alone time and thrive with my 30 minutes to run around the house and get everything spic and span before picking up my kiddos. Yet, I feel like I go crazy every time my little guy has preschool. Today, he literally said "Momma, you need to leave!!" In truth, I am so happy that he loves school so much and is comfortable enough that he wants me outta there so he can have his time. Georgiana was born my Miss Independent, and Levi is proving he's much more capable than I give him credit for. So... then there's me. I pictured myself diving into PTA and relishing in these stay at home school years, but truth be told, I am not cut out for this. I see the Instagram posts the hashtag stayathomemom #stayathomewife images of exercise and decorating and all things domestic (and beautiful, things I love). And by no means am I talking down about them, I admire them, but yet, they are not for me. I am a people person by nature. Yes, I enjoy my quiet Netflix evenings with a few (or more) nibbles of chocolate, but overall, I like my peeps. Particularly my little peeps. I jumped for joy the day I got to officially become a #stayathomemom, it felt like I had won the lottery a million times over. But, the thing is, I wanted to stay at home to be with them, and they aren't at home anymore (at least full-time)! I've had some friends tell me they needed to go to work because they were going crazy at home with their sweet little ones (who they love dearly!!), they are better mommas because they are working and that is what their team needs. Well, I need to go work because I am going crazy without my little ones home. I completely agree that life would be easier if I was able to get all the domestic busy-ness done while the rest of the team is off at work and school. I'm sure it would be super fun to meet up with friends or get into a better exercise routine, read more, etc. However, I do better under pressure, the meme about more cleaning getting done the 15 minutes before someone coming over compared to the week, may have been modeled after me. I actually enjoy a fuller plate. I do think I would be a stellar #stayathomewife if I was a millionaire, ha! I would be the hostess of the most-ess and serve on boards and give back and thrive. But, alas, even with a change of departments (coming in January 2017), I don't think Officer Smith will be bringing home that sort of check. So, rather than spin my wheels, spend way too much money and go crazy in the quiet house, I am about to do something a bit scary. I am about to say, "hey world, it's me, the theatre major with a great work ethic and pretty much no work history, what do you say about offering me a job? With hopefully a small commute, a 4 ten schedule would be dreamy so I can still volunteer in my tiny people's classrooms, oh and a job that I don't have to take home with me, what do you say?" Beggars can't be choosers, but I am prayerfully preparing for what 2017 will hopefully bring.
Time to step out of my comfort zone...


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For your next 30 minutes if you like.



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