21 July 2012
Earlier this month, my family (and Lindsey invites!) gave me a beautiful baby shower. I have fun pictures, just waiting to be transferred from my camera to my computer, someday this will happen. July has also been full of playdates with cousins, my sister and her kiddos have been in WA all month, Georgiana and I have both enjoyed visting the zoo with them, and playing playing playing. We've also had playdates with Madeline and Logan visiting from out of state. I've soaked up the time with their mommy Melissa, she just left our house an hour or so ago, and I miss her already! That's how it goes with those you love who live far away. My sister and her fam head back to their sunshine this weekend, and I won't let myself think about how long it might be before I see them next!
We've also been continuing to grieve the loss of our Papa. Which, I realize is an akward bullet point. But, it's true. Georgiana continues to be the queen of questions, many of which I also have. She asks many of the same questions over and over. Yesterday she heard a friend talking about his "Papa," she looked at me later that day and said "Where's my Papa?" She's a bit confused why other people still have theirs. She followed up her question with, "I want him back!" Me too Georgie girl, me too.
It's even harder when she doesn't ask questions. I've decided I will take any amount of questions, and any tears that they induce, over the absence of questions, but it's heartbreaking and always surprising to watch a little two year old navigate through this process. She's my smarty arty orange, and she's trying to figure this all out. I started crying last night when she did her clap clap, "come here baby," move to hold her dolly. Kelly and I realized a few weeks ago that she was doing that because Papa would always clap clap to her and then hold his hands out when he wanted to hold her. I had know idea she knew where she got that from. Until she said, "like Papa!"
The rest of the family is full of questions and ups and downs. One moment we find ourselves able to share memories, talk and even laugh, then without notice, one may crumble. It's difficult to watch those you love so much walk around with hurts that you can't fix. But, everyone is trying. Everyone is doing their best to put one foot infront of the other, just somedays it is a lot easier than others. Rarely do I have any all by myself time, and the two times that I have, I have speant too much time thinking, which resulted in lots of tissue. So, I am enjoying my wonderful little distraction named Georgiana Lee even more. That little Peanut is a blessing!
Speaking of blessings, Baby Boy will be here in about 7 weeks!! Oh my room (as Georgiana would say), that is soon! The nursery is really coming together and has been so much fun to... Georgie girl woke up from her nap and so I am continuing this post today (about 24 hours after I started it).
Anyway, my brain has been swimming with things to type, and now it is at a little loss. So, I will just post these random notes with hopes to be back soon!
PS - the pic is from Amazon.com. In all honesty, Georgie's facial expression kind of cracks me up, I was a little surprised that they picked that pic, ha ha! She worked for Chasing Fireflies this last week, and will likely work for them again this upcoming week. Busy little bee, she loves it, which is why we keep going :) So fun, and now I hear her up from her nap...